No More Wrappers for McDonald's?

So... would you like fries with that?

Rat Brains and Virtual Planes

I've never been very good at flight simulators, but apparently handmade rat brains in petri dishes don't have much of a problem with them.

Aftermath

I was recently thinking about the consequences of my actions and how, for the most part, I don't take the time to consider the possible aftermath. And I thought to myself, "Self, what kind of word is 'Aftermath' anyway?" So, I looked it up on Wikipedia and found the following definition:

The word "aftermath" is used more generally to refer to the effects that follow catastrophic events, both man-made and natural. It is almost always used in a negative sense—that is, the deaths from exposure to radiation in Hiroshima are seen as a part of the aftermath, but the liberation of the prisoner of war camps in Japan following World War II would likely not be referred to as "aftermath."

So, that got me thinking, "Is there such a thing as 'Beforemath' or 'Duringmath'?" I decided to come up with my own definitions:

The word "beforemath" is a technical term, used commonly by programmers, when they think, for just a brief moment, that they can solve a difficult equation without the use of mathematics. That "brief moment" could possibly include, but is not limited to, working for 2 or more hours on hundreds of lines of code before admitting defeat. Stupid math.*

The word "duringmath" is also a technical term, used commonly by IT managers, that describes the foreshadowing of the rage and destruction that will occur as a result of a programmer having to delve too deeply into mathematics to solve a difficult equation. See "beforemath".

*"Stupid math" comment is editorial, not part of the definition.

Hitler's Women

I've been sick on and off during the last couple of weeks, and as a result, I was home watching television more than normal. I ran across a show on the History Channel called "Hitler's Women". This was apparently a mini-series of some sort detailing Hitler's dealings and relationships with various women during his career. From watching a bit of these documentaries I can tell you a couple of things...

1) Hitler had some relationships with some pretty influential women

2) A portion of those women looked like men

Really Boring Books for Children

By Melissa Bell
(courtesy of McSweeney's)

Springtime? Taxtime!
The New Drapes
Let's All Have a Bottle of Water!
The Two Weeks After Christmas
Staring at Your Shoes and Other Games
The Big Book of Paper Clips
One Wall, Two Walls, Three Walls, Four!
Mom Folds the Towels and Then Puts Them Away
B Is for Beige
The Long Drive to the Small Town to Visit Childless Relatives
Sally Finds a Stick

Top 10 Things You Probably Shouldn't Say During a Stall War*

10) Using your best War Games voice: "Would you like to play a game?"

9) To self, in a soft, whimpering voice, over and over: "It's gonna'
be okay, it's all gonna' be okay..."

8) "So, what did YOU have for lunch?" Then proceed to tell your
opponent what you had in as much detail as possible.

7) "Dude, you may wanna' take a look at this..."

6) "Is that all you got?!"

5) "Mmmmm...smells good, doesn't it?" Use frequent sniffing sounds
with this one.

4) "Seriously, man, you shouldn't strain so much, you're 'gonna pull something."

3) To self: "Are those worms?!"

2) To opponent: "Do these look like worms to you?"

1) "I love you."

*Stall War = When two individuals occupy the only available bathroom
stalls and each is trying to discreetly finish up and leave