Top 10 Things You Probably Shouldn't Say During a Stall War*

10) Using your best War Games voice: "Would you like to play a game?"

9) To self, in a soft, whimpering voice, over and over: "It's gonna'
be okay, it's all gonna' be okay..."

8) "So, what did YOU have for lunch?" Then proceed to tell your
opponent what you had in as much detail as possible.

7) "Dude, you may wanna' take a look at this..."

6) "Is that all you got?!"

5) "Mmmmm...smells good, doesn't it?" Use frequent sniffing sounds
with this one.

4) "Seriously, man, you shouldn't strain so much, you're 'gonna pull something."

3) To self: "Are those worms?!"

2) To opponent: "Do these look like worms to you?"

1) "I love you."

*Stall War = When two individuals occupy the only available bathroom
stalls and each is trying to discreetly finish up and leave